Days Of A Stay At Home Mom
I clearly remember when it happened, when I officially realised that I have become a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). It was indeed a reality check. ‘What am I going to do all day with an infant all by myself?’, I realised vividly. ‘I can do this.’, I told myself gearing up all my hopes and strength. What do we SAHMs do all day? We work, and this job is no joke. It is a full-time job, it is never ending, with no sick days or breaks, it is lonely, tiring, but most importantly, it is special and rewarding in its own sweet way.
Today’s SAHM may be highly educated, may have left a highly paid job to stay at home to take care of her kids. A SAHM works throughout the day, as a chef, nurse, teacher, playmate, housekeeper, laundry attendant, babysitter, all in one. The stereotype of a woman sitting at home watching TV while eating, is no longer a reality. Perhaps, a SAHM does every single thing to keep her house running smoothly. From planning meals, to budgets, to taking care of children and their needs, a SAHM works 24*7. She is on duty, with no vacation or sick days and no pay checks.
As a working woman (after marriage), I used to look at moms with their kids in parks and playgrounds, and wished the same easy and free life for myself after having a kid. You know what, I have now realised what a difference a few years and a kid make in our thoughts and lives. I left my job after I conceived and decided to spend more time with my son and to work from home, thus became a full time SAHM.
Motherhood is not easy as it may seem, whether we work at an office or at home, there are challenges of a SAHM and her life.
BUSY LIFE While working in an office, in addition to pay checks, we often get breaks in the day. BUT SAHMs day starts when their kids wake up (even before that) and ends after the kids are asleep. I rarely get a chance to go to the bathroom unaccompanied. The meals are never on time now, coffee would turn into cold coffee and food to frozen food. But this is what I chose, to feed my son properly, on time and by myself.
EXPLANATION It is not tiring or frustrating to stay at home, but to explain it to everyone what I do the whole day sitting at home, is what bothers me the most. Cooking, cleaning, playing, nursing, feeding, and all that you can think of, is what I do the whole day, but do not watch TV while eating for sure. Why can’t people just forget this question!!!
CLEAN HOME, A DREAM Keeping my house (or even my room) clean is a dream I can’t even think of, for a few years. A messy house, with toys scattered all over, are the perks of having a kid at home. My son sleeps and I get a chance to clean the room. However, the moment he gets up, the room comes back to its normal self (the messy one), as if he is searching for a particular toy, he is not able to find. Ahhh! It is exhausting.
MISS THE WORKPLACE I love my son more than anything, but I do miss going to work every day and meeting my colleagues and friends. It is not that I do not enjoy my son’s company, but I miss my workplace a lot.
ANGER We, the SAHMs, are full of warmth and kindness. However, in practice, we do experience anger, stress, depression and sadness. We would never want these feelings to affect our parenting style, but it is perfectly okay to feel low at times.
JACK OF ALL TRADES Being a SAHM means getting everyone’s needs met all day long. I have got used to multitasking now. Making my son eat, while running and playing, never felt so easy, but now, it seems the only way it can be done.
NO ROUTINE Before my son was born, I actually had a routine for all my works. But now, I can’t eat on time even if I am hungry. Now household works linger on as if I will get separate time to do the work.
DISTANT SELF Now my deepest wants, needs and desires are side swiped by the needs of my family. The nights of uninterrupted sleep are replaced with waking every two hours during the night. However, with time, this changed and now my son sleeps for continuous 6-7 hours.
I wish my son young and little again so that he can be wrapped up in me. Even when I want to run away, I know that I will miss these days of SAHM. Nature has made us this way – tough parenting phases (like child birth) and the pain, anger, stress, depression, but then we only remember the pleasure. No matter how irritating and frustrating the kids are (at times), we do it anyways, we push through these phases because we love them. Remember, one day you will blink and wonder where the time went. It is aptly said – Cherish every moment, and in our case – kids grow up very fast, so hold them, kiss them, love them, cuddle them, because one day all this will be a memory.
Being a SAHM means adapting to parenthood and its pros and cons. At first, I imagined that my home to be one of the clean homes. But then reality set in and I realised that it needs effort and work to do so. For me, being able to stay at home is a wonderful blessing, however there are days when it seems a struggle. Every day has its own battles, but there are also days that are beautiful and rewarding. Being a SAHM is not easy and no one is perfect. Find out your own ways of dealing with this crazy, yet wonderful life.
About Komal Gupta
From a working woman to a full-time mother, I am loving and living every phase of this new life. Leaving job was my decision as I wanted to be with my child during the early stages of his life. I wanted to witness his every action, from first cry to first word. I am happily employed as a full-time mother, whose remunerations are my child's hugs, kisses and laugh.
This is personal experience and point of view of Mrs Komal Gupta as a mother. Happy Motherhood does not take responsibility for the contents and those not necessarily represent point of view of Happy Motherhood.