Helipcopter Parenting Is Trending
People have evolved a lot with time, their lifestyle, advancement of technology and with all that parenting styles have also evolved. From a time when parents seldom cared about their child's grades to a time when even a small test becomes a big deal. I can definitely say the style of parenting has changed from being carefree to helicopter parenting.
13 January, 2020
The latest trend in parenting, the helicopter parenting is when a parent is overprotective or takes excessive interest in the life of their child or children. Such parents never encourage autonomy even for adolescents and constantly monitor and dominate in things like their schoolwork, homework and projects. They even try to control their interactions with friends and family. Such kids after a certain time tend to get stressed and even depressed.
As it is said that children of more supportive and encouraging parents rather than controlling and dominating parents become more responsible and confidant as an individual and adjust better in any social environment.
Indian parents these days argue that the world has become more competitive and in order to get better results academically they have to have a constant check on their child. But this constant check becomes too much at times when the child gets too stressed under parental pressure to excel and sometimes when they are not able to handle the pressure, they even resort to self harm.
All around us we are filled with examples of how parents sometimes getting too dominant can even unknowingly destroy the lives of their own child. I have seen parents constantly scolding kids for even a few marks in exam and their child's position in class becomes a matter of their prestige amongst the social circle.
When parents are always after kids be it grades or any extra activity, the pressure sometimes becomes too much for kids to handle. I have seen parents put so much pressure before any entrance exam that the failure in the exam depresses them and they even attempt to harm themselves.
Though my parents were never too dominating seeing such patental trands stressed me and I had already planned on not being a helicopter parent for my baby. The day my daughter was born I decided to encourage and support her in every step but not be overprotective or dominating on her and let her grow as an independent individual of her own mind.
Right from her initial milestones I would help her and encourage her but never helped her too much but let her learn on her own experiences. Like when she was learning how to walk initially I would hold her finger and help her in walking but later I let her try on her own. She would take a step or two then fall down. Though I would be watching her at that time I never helped her as i knew she had to learn to walk on her own.
I was happy to see that after falling she got up and tried again and in a few days, she started walking confidently. I was so happy and proud to watch her take her first steps and I was glad she did it with her own efforts. Similarly, when she was two years old I wanted her to start eating on her own. I knew she would make a lot of mess but I was ready for it and I knew it would be another step in her gaining her independence. I started giving her own plate at meal times and she would be happy to have her own seat at the dining table. Although she would spill most of the food in an attempt to eat it but I was happy that she was trying. I would be an ordeal to clean up all the mess later but I was not complaining as I could see that slowly my efforts were bearing fruits and she was learning to eat on her own. Though she took some time but in a few months time she had learnt to eat on her own which I felt was a big step towards her independence and it made me happy and proud.
Also, I never managed her social interactions, be it in park or in a party I never spoke on her behalf, I always let her do her talking for herself. Right from the very beginning she had learnt to make friends on her own and would go and introduce herself.
I know these are just baby steps but they were the small steps she was taking every day towards her independence. If we will let a child do a small thing themselves, they will start having trust on their abilities. They will start believing in themselves and it will be a pillar for their confidant and responsible personality built up.
So, all I want to say is that don't always hover over your kids, even they require some space. Just give them the support and encouragement they need and witness them doing miracles on their own every day and transform into confidant and responsible individuals.
About Priyanka Rai
I am a dental surgeon, an army wife and a mother of a 30 months old daughter grooming her round the clock. Writing is my passion and when not writing I love to spend my time in the company of books and my daughter.My life changed completely two and a half years ago when my daughter was born. From being a working woman to a full-time mother was a tremendous transition but I cherish every moment of it. From the moment when I held her first till the time, I walked her to playschool every moment has been sheer bliss. I love talking to her, reading books to her and capturing her different moods and moments.
This is personal experience and point of view of Mrs Priyanka Rai as a mother. Happy Motherhood does not take responsibility for the contents and those not necessarily represent point of view of Happy Motherhood